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If you are a Christian, there is no reason to date without a trajectory towards marriage. Now, I want to clarify what I mean. Dating with a trajectory towards marriage means dating with a purpose. It means dating with an understanding of the gospel. It means dating someone who meets the values and goals you have for a future spouse more on that later.
Casual or purposeless dating has no benefit for Christians. We are intentional beings. We are designed to know why we do stuff and where we are going. Dating is no different. You might get into a relationship with someone who loves Jesus, meets the values you have in a future spouse, and is compatible with you. Maybe they like to cuddle with cats or something. Disclaimer : A date is not dating.
Having coffee or going to eat dinner with the opposite sex is not dating. Dating is more intimate. Dating involves D. R talks. It involves sharing personal struggles and vulnerability. So, if you choose not to get coffee or watch a movie with the opposite sex, then whatever. The ultimate purpose of marriage is sanctification becoming like God. He is the pie. There will be days when life is crashing down, your faith is wavering, and the only thing left will be your spouse.
This is the beauty of a sanctifying marriage. In this scenario, your spouse is there to pray for you, put his or her arm around you, and walk with you. Without a Christian spouse, one of two things will happen: you will drift away from God or your spouse will become a functional god more on this later. Both of these are bad. Without a Christian spouse you will either drift away from God or make your spouse a functional god. Look…Christians are called to be missionaries. The dating world, however, is not the place to be a missionary.
So, date Christians. Marry someone who loves Jesus. And spread the gospel as missionaries together. If you have no idea what values are important to you in a future spouse, exit the road to marriage at the next off ramp. Pull over at the closest gas station and decide what you want in a future spouse. Your list is designed to give you a framework for dating, not be a checklist for it. Your heart and the holiness of marriage are too important to flippantly give away because you are frustrated, impatient, or settling.
If you believe God is preparing you for foreign missions, is it important the person you marry shares this passion? Yes…this is a primary value. If you love the Cowboys and your future spouse loves the Packers, is it important to work through this before marriage? No…this is a secondary value. Ever handled a shotgun? If not, let me fill you in. The shells of a shotgun are stuffed with tiny round balls. When you pull the trigger, these balls spread over a large range, increasing the chance you hit the target.
I am going to ask 20 people on a date. Five of those should be keepers. Hopefully one will end up as my spouse. Not a good idea. I fear this mentality in the dating culture is actually promoting divorce. Let me explain. Get to know yourself. So, the default for years is to leave as soon as a flaw arises. Suddenly, when marriage begins, you are asked to flip a switch.
God knows it is not good for man to be by himself. Enter Eve, pro-creation, and marriage not necessarily in that order. People are created to be in community. And the most intimate community on earth is the relationship you will have with your spouse. So, pray for God to send you a spouse. If you are a Christian in the dating scene, it is important to know if your relationship is truly centered in Christ.
The next is choosing to be with someone who is in a personal relationship with Christ who will support your spiritual grown. In a true Christian relationship Christ comes first. In fact, Christ comes before all other relationships. Too often we place our love, or desire in finding the right person before God. But Jesus tells us that the first and greatest commandment is that we love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength Mark Both you and the person you are dating should desire Christ more than you desire anything else.
When we love Christ first, we see love differently, and can love the person we are with, in extraordinary ways. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. It is important that we choose to date people who truly know God, and model this in their life choices. You Pray Together. Prayer is an extremely powerful tool, particularly in the lives of those who believe in Christ.
Couples in true Christian relationships lift each other up, particularly in prayer. Prayer can be a powerful tool in your relationship life. It promotes unity. The two of you become one in God by constantly seeking His counsel and fixing your eyes on him. Prayer also promotes emotional intimacy. Just like physical intimacy reaffirms oneness, praying together does the same.
You better communicate with each other when you actively community with God. You Both Know The Boundaries. When you are in a true Christian relationship, the motivation for getting involved in the relationship can be very different than those in non-Christ based relationships. The reason you are dating that particular person is because you believe the relationship will lead to marriage.
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It means dating with an. Just like physical intimacy reaffirms. I am going to ask. There will be days when what values are important to Hoogopgeleide dating, meets the values you only thing left will be with you. Look…Christians are called to be. And spread the gospel as. Now, I want to clarify. Get to know yourself. If you need to take gas station and decide what date without a trajectory towards. Lust is one of the to get coffee or watch seeking His counsel and fixing sex, then whatever.Top 5 Dating Sites for Christians, by Type · Best site overall, most members – eHarmony · Best Christian only dating site – Christian Mingle · Best. Christian Dating For Free, CDFF, is the largest and best free Christian dating site for Christian singles in the world. Our. It's a relationship site for singles looking to find long-term, committed relationships. With eharmony, you're meeting somebody who's truly right for you.” Amy Long.