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These casual interactions allow you the opportunity to get to know who your teen is dating and see how they treat one another. Sometimes teens get into situations where they are in over their head, or their date turns out to be different than they expected. Perhaps their date takes them to a party where there are drugs and alcohol. Or maybe your teen's date is getting abusive, has had too much to drink, or is pressuring them for sex.
If you're their standing excuse, they can blame you when they have to leave or when you come to get them. Some parents establish this escape plan for their teens and promise to pick them up without asking questions or pressuring them for details until they're ready to talk.
By doing this, teens feel less fearful of getting in trouble and are more likely to reach out for help. They also know they can count on you to be there. Some parents even establish a code word or code text that alerts them that they need help. If the teen uses this word during a call or texts the word or number, the parent calls with an excuse as to why they need to come get their teen and then they show up.
This built in escape plan makes it easier for your teen to leave without having to deal with peer pressure. When your teen is heading out for a date, it's important to know where your teen is going, who they are going with, and what they plan to do. While parental control apps like Life and Find My iPhone are useful for tracking your teen should you need to get in touch with them, technology is not foolproof.
Phone batteries die, service can be limited, or phones can be turned off. If you needed to get to your teen in a hurry, you need to know where they will be. This means having an address and a name of where they will be, especially if they are going to someone's home and not to a public place like a movie theatre, coffee shop, or restaurant.
Most likely, you have already talked about sex. You have probably even talked about the risks associated with sexual assault and teen dating violence. As awkward as it is to have these difficult conversations with your teen , you need to have them again. Your teen needs to be reminded of how to stay safe and what risks they are facing. No matter how much they know and respect their partner, they need to be aware that dating is not completely risk free. You would be remiss to skip or avoid touching on these topics again.
Although you don't have to have a conversation as soon as your teen walks in the door, you should take some time at some point after the date to follow up. Ask your teen how the date went. Then, wait for their response. Listen carefully and try not to interrupt. If your teen seems reluctant to share much information, don't worry.
Some teens are more private than others. You can close out the conversation by asking them if they think they will go out again or if they have any questions or concerns they want to talk about. Remind your teen that you are there for them should they have anything they want to discuss, but also allow them some privacy. Teens also play a part in staying safe while dating. For this reason, you should share some tips with them on how they can take responsibility for their safety and ensure they are creating safe dating environments.
Here are some things every teen should consider doing. Dating is a big responsibility that requires smart decision-making and maturity. It also is a privilege and not a right. So, if your teen wants to ensure they don't have this privilege taken away, they should make sure they are communicating with you about dating.
In addition to following the rules and guidelines you establish, they also should be sharing who they are spending time with and where they are going. When teens start getting secretive, this should serve as a warning sign that something is amiss and as a parent, you should start to investigate. While every dating couple wants some alone time, this is a huge responsibility fraught with all types of risks.
Instead, teens should consider group dates—at least initially—and reserve the one-on-one dates for when they are older and more mature. Of course, parents can require double dating, but it is better if teens choose this option for themselves. Not only is a group date generally safer because there is a group of people, but it sometimes eliminates the pressures to engage in sex. Generally speaking, having dates in public are safer than being alone at someone's house or alone with someone at a park.
Plus, it keeps pressures to minimum if they are having their dates at restaurants, coffee shops, bowling alleys, sporting events, and other similar locations. Encourage your teen to go on dates that are fun and active like ice skating or water parks. There they can have fun with their date while not having to deal with the pressure that comes with parties and movie nights.
As uncomfortable as it might be, you need to remind your teen what consent is as well as the importance of being sure that both people in the dating relationship are on the same page no matter what they are doing. This conversation is important, especially if your teens appears to be getting serious about the person they are dating. In addition to preventing misunderstandings, talking about consent also is an important part of preventing sexual abuse, sexual assault, and even rape.
So, don't skip this conversation. The risks and consequences of sexting are significant. Not only can teens get into legal trouble, but they also can share or receive photos that they later regret. Too many times, sexually explicit photos are shared with a partner and then later used as a weapon when the relationship ends. Make sure your teen knows that they should never engage in sexting. Doing so, puts them at risk in a number of different ways.
When attending parties or other group functions, it's very important that teens take care of their own drinks. This means getting their own drinks and keeping track of their drinks once they have one. They should never leave their drink unattended. The risk is too high that someone could put a drug in their drink. The same can happen if they allow someone to get them a drink, including even a bottle of water. As nice as it might seem for someone to offer to get your teen a drink, they should politely refuse and get their own drinks.
Empower your teen with the self-confidence needed to reach out for help if they are ever in a situation that is dangerous or makes them uncomfortable. Even if they are simply having a bad time, they should know that they can call you at anytime and that you will come pick them up.
Having this type of understanding and establishing this type of trust with your teen is perhaps the most important part of creating a safe dating environment. Teens now live out so much of their lives online that common courtesy and human consideration is more crucial than ever in combatting introversion and self-involvement. Teenagers naturally gravitate towards gossiping about each other. Everyone is figuring out who they are in the world.
Be respectful to all in order to earn respect back. Our children know way more about sex these days than we ever did thanks internet! These statements will stick with your children throughout their lives. Face the facts and do your best in helping them on their journey. Find her on Facebook. Skip to Main Content. Get Your Teen Magazine in your inbox!
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